Pearls and swine bereft of me
Long and weary my road has been
I was lost in the cities
Alone in the hills
No sorrow or pity
For leaving I feel
I am not your rolling wheels
I am a highway
I am not your carpet ride
I am the sky
Friends and liars
Don't wait for me
Cause I'll get on
All by myself
I put millions of miles
Under my heels
And still too close to you
I feel
I am not your rolling wheels
I am the highway
I am not your carpet ride
I am the sky
I am not your blowing wind
I am the lightning
I am not your autumn moon
I am the night
The night
I am not your rolling wheels
I am the highway
I am not your carpet ride
I am the sky
I am not your blowing wind
I am the lightning
I am not your autumn moon
I am the night
Friday, July 18, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Listening to: Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
Motion.
Revolving.
Constant.
Blur.
Its all gone by so fast, and I find myself standing still for a moment to catch my breath.
I am searching for stability... trusting it will come soon.
Church is finally becoming something familiar.
It has taken time, but I am beginning to feel a sense of belonging, acceptance, dare I say love?
More than likely, that comfort has been there all along, I was simply too self involved to feel it.
I have stumbled upon an amazing group, and learned so much.
I have re-vamped my definition of community...
So refreshing.
FAMILY.
It feels good.
I simply cannot get enough of them.
Motion.
Revolving.
Constant.
Blur.
Its all gone by so fast, and I find myself standing still for a moment to catch my breath.
I am searching for stability... trusting it will come soon.
Church is finally becoming something familiar.
It has taken time, but I am beginning to feel a sense of belonging, acceptance, dare I say love?
More than likely, that comfort has been there all along, I was simply too self involved to feel it.
I have stumbled upon an amazing group, and learned so much.
I have re-vamped my definition of community...
So refreshing.
FAMILY.
It feels good.
I simply cannot get enough of them.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Deep Waters
Listening to: Zoe Keating
Here's to five years... I finally put the pen on paper. Being that it has been so long since I have attempted to write anything worth reading, please- for my sake, go easy on me :)
Here goes nothing.
Will anything stop this monotonous drive that keeps the blood flowing ...the thoughts playing over and over like a tragic play that leaves you unsatisfied with its ending?
I have been treading these dark waters for days...the days turn to weeks, which bend to months and years... still... treading... fighting... and yet for what?
The questions flood my brain... to the brim until they spill over onto the pages of this un satiating book... I am writing a story... with every tear, every smile, every youthful lighthearted laugh.. and yet the pages seem empty.
This heavy novel is lack lustre.. its missing its plot, the meaning of it all, which might make sense of this disaster called life... 'twere it there.
Nonethe 'less, I fill these pages with the bleeding emotions that compose my aching heart.
What is? Why? And how did I find myself here? In this void of a life?
Lacking a meaning for which it thrives... still beats...
a heavy, constant drumming... still beating... never ceasing...
Was it all truly supposed to be this way? At the ripe age of twenty I find myself longing to be picked- fruitful and ready to begin a rich demise.
Yet here I lay amongst the thriving leaves and branches of these beautiful oxygen filled and life giving trees.
Beautiful and fleeting. Sweet but all too soon turned sour.
Much like the Russian cigarette that delicately rests between my tired fingers, I am fading all too fast... too soon to be enjoyed.. and too soon tossed aside to burn out alone.
I find myself longing for more... unsatisfied with the reality of what is.
Does it get better?
I smell the sweet air and I feel it against my bare skin.. yet I can't quite grasp it...the air... I am gasping... treading... treading... treading...
Now the only question left is do I sink or swim...
Here's to five years... I finally put the pen on paper. Being that it has been so long since I have attempted to write anything worth reading, please- for my sake, go easy on me :)
Here goes nothing.
Will anything stop this monotonous drive that keeps the blood flowing ...the thoughts playing over and over like a tragic play that leaves you unsatisfied with its ending?
I have been treading these dark waters for days...the days turn to weeks, which bend to months and years... still... treading... fighting... and yet for what?
The questions flood my brain... to the brim until they spill over onto the pages of this un satiating book... I am writing a story... with every tear, every smile, every youthful lighthearted laugh.. and yet the pages seem empty.
This heavy novel is lack lustre.. its missing its plot, the meaning of it all, which might make sense of this disaster called life... 'twere it there.
Nonethe 'less, I fill these pages with the bleeding emotions that compose my aching heart.
What is? Why? And how did I find myself here? In this void of a life?
Lacking a meaning for which it thrives... still beats...
a heavy, constant drumming... still beating... never ceasing...
Was it all truly supposed to be this way? At the ripe age of twenty I find myself longing to be picked- fruitful and ready to begin a rich demise.
Yet here I lay amongst the thriving leaves and branches of these beautiful oxygen filled and life giving trees.
Beautiful and fleeting. Sweet but all too soon turned sour.
Much like the Russian cigarette that delicately rests between my tired fingers, I am fading all too fast... too soon to be enjoyed.. and too soon tossed aside to burn out alone.
I find myself longing for more... unsatisfied with the reality of what is.
Does it get better?
I smell the sweet air and I feel it against my bare skin.. yet I can't quite grasp it...the air... I am gasping... treading... treading... treading...
Now the only question left is do I sink or swim...
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