I miss the sound of your voice
And I miss the rush of your skin
And I miss the still of the silence
As you breathe out and I breathe in
If i could walk on water
If I could tell you what's next
Make you believe
Make you forget
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire in the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire in the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
I miss the sound of your voice
The loudest thing in my head
And I ache to remember
All the violent, sweet
Perfect words that you said
If I could walk on water
If I could tell you what's next
I'd make you believe
I'd make you forget
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire in the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire in the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
I miss the pull of your heart
I could taste the sparks on your tongue
I see angels and devils
And God, when you come on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Sing sha la la la
Sing sha la la la la
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire in the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire in the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me, drown me in love
It's all wrong, it's all wrong,it's so truly right
So come on, get higher
So come on and get higher
'Cause everything works, love
Everything works in your arms
Steven arrives in the States in 39 days.
I don't think I am ready for this. It is still so fresh, so raw...
I would have thought by now I would be better at this. I can hardly handle hearing his sweet voice, though I long to daily. I cannot fathom standing so small in his presence. So vulnerable. My castle walls fell down and I am exposed. I am still standing with my heart on a silver platter as if its worth something to him. They say you can't rush these things, healing takes time. I don't want to heal from this. I don't want to let him go. Things were not supposed to be this way. I had plans. I had a life...planned. A life for us. To swell and shrink through the tides of life. Together.
I now know we could never be together, even if he wanted to be. We are different people. Our foundation is shattered because we each hold individual truths. They no longer compliment each other. But to think of the days when I settle... when I raise my children...they will not be his. It is more difficult to comprehend than any scientfic equation, any philosophical ideal... I will not grow old with him. I will not be his wife. Surely it will sink in. It has to.
I am off to Friend's Thanksgiving, it will be grand!
<3
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
Life for my weary bones.
LISTENING TO: Violet Hill by Coldplay.
It is official.
History was made.
I am in utter awe of our country.
It is still a bit surreal.
Still sinking in.
Slowly.
We have so far to go....
My mother and I are not speaking because the truth finally came to an ugly head regarding her vote. She voted McCain.... with the mindset that "we" are "upper class" and it is "our money".
(Did she forget she is living in a motel 6, with no health insurance, receiving food stamps?)
I asked her on Wednesday if she watched Obama's speech after the election had been declared. I was shocked to hear the anger in her voice when she scoffed, "No, I don't want to talk about it... its just the way I was raised..."
WOW. The race card. My stomach churned as I wrestled with the thought that my mother would not support our future POTUS because of the color of his skin. I am sick now thinking about it. I thought we had moved past this. Sure there are people out there with this sad, sad mindset... but my mother? My very own mother. I am so ashamed. She blew up at me, claiming I have no understanding towards her. I sternly let her know I have understanding towards her, but I will not be tolerant or understanding of an ideal as awful as this. She might as well have said slavery was justified. She tried many excuses... she always does... I need to move on.... you get the picture. I am fuming at this point.
I will never forget November 4, 2008.
One of the most memorable days of my life.
I am so blessed to have been surrounded by my beautiful friends, huddled around a screen, where a humble man spoke life into my weary bones. Words of hope, strength, progression, and love filled the living room at Luke and Kerri's. Tears streamed down our faces as we knew we were a part of something monumental. I truly feel sad for those that are so focused on the loss of their candidate to have completely missed out on this once in a lifetime moment. I cannot wait to sit down with children of my own and tell them about the day equality and civil rights soared to a new level. I will never forget the feeling I had during the Primary caucus as I placed the call to enter my precint's votes for Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. I was overwhelmed with joy and knew I held a specific part in writing history. We all did. Congratulations, America, you have come a long, long way.
It is official.
History was made.
I am in utter awe of our country.
It is still a bit surreal.
Still sinking in.
Slowly.
We have so far to go....
My mother and I are not speaking because the truth finally came to an ugly head regarding her vote. She voted McCain.... with the mindset that "we" are "upper class" and it is "our money".
(Did she forget she is living in a motel 6, with no health insurance, receiving food stamps?)
I asked her on Wednesday if she watched Obama's speech after the election had been declared. I was shocked to hear the anger in her voice when she scoffed, "No, I don't want to talk about it... its just the way I was raised..."
WOW. The race card. My stomach churned as I wrestled with the thought that my mother would not support our future POTUS because of the color of his skin. I am sick now thinking about it. I thought we had moved past this. Sure there are people out there with this sad, sad mindset... but my mother? My very own mother. I am so ashamed. She blew up at me, claiming I have no understanding towards her. I sternly let her know I have understanding towards her, but I will not be tolerant or understanding of an ideal as awful as this. She might as well have said slavery was justified. She tried many excuses... she always does... I need to move on.... you get the picture. I am fuming at this point.
I will never forget November 4, 2008.
One of the most memorable days of my life.
I am so blessed to have been surrounded by my beautiful friends, huddled around a screen, where a humble man spoke life into my weary bones. Words of hope, strength, progression, and love filled the living room at Luke and Kerri's. Tears streamed down our faces as we knew we were a part of something monumental. I truly feel sad for those that are so focused on the loss of their candidate to have completely missed out on this once in a lifetime moment. I cannot wait to sit down with children of my own and tell them about the day equality and civil rights soared to a new level. I will never forget the feeling I had during the Primary caucus as I placed the call to enter my precint's votes for Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. I was overwhelmed with joy and knew I held a specific part in writing history. We all did. Congratulations, America, you have come a long, long way.
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