I miss the sound of your voice
And I miss the rush of your skin
And I miss the still of the silence
As you breathe out and I breathe in

If i could walk on water
If I could tell you what's next
Make you believe
Make you forget

So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire in the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire in the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

I miss the sound of your voice
The loudest thing in my head
And I ache to remember
All the violent, sweet
Perfect words that you said

If I could walk on water
If I could tell you what's next
I'd make you believe
I'd make you forget
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire in the swing of your hips

Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire in the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

I miss the pull of your heart
I could taste the sparks on your tongue
I see angels and devils
And God, when you come on

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Sing sha la la la
Sing sha la la la la

So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire in the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire in the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me, drown me in love

It's all wrong, it's all wrong,it's so truly right
So come on, get higher
So come on and get higher
'Cause everything works, love
Everything works in your arms

Steven arrives in the States in 39 days.
I don't think I am ready for this. It is still so fresh, so raw...
I would have thought by now I would be better at this. I can hardly handle hearing his sweet voice, though I long to daily. I cannot fathom standing so small in his presence. So vulnerable. My castle walls fell down and I am exposed. I am still standing with my heart on a silver platter as if its worth something to him. They say you can't rush these things, healing takes time. I don't want to heal from this. I don't want to let him go. Things were not supposed to be this way. I had plans. I had a life...planned. A life for us. To swell and shrink through the tides of life. Together.
I now know we could never be together, even if he wanted to be. We are different people. Our foundation is shattered because we each hold individual truths. They no longer compliment each other. But to think of the days when I settle... when I raise my children...they will not be his. It is more difficult to comprehend than any scientfic equation, any philosophical ideal... I will not grow old with him. I will not be his wife. Surely it will sink in. It has to.

I am off to Friend's Thanksgiving, it will be grand!

<3